"Everyone smile"
Balance.
The Son Helps the Father.
Dress.
Smiling parents, proud that the day has come.
Kailey met Becca, in high school, followed her photography journey and followed her on Social Media. So when Ben and Becca created B+B, Kailey knew how to follow along. Kailey showed Eric, the vintage techniques in which both Becca and Ben influenced their captured art by. So when the time came for a wedding photography and videography team- Kailey and Eric reached out. Over coffee at the Starbucks, that meant something to both Kailey and Eric, B+B went over: packages, how things worked with B+B, and what artwork interested Kailey and Eric.
After deciding that they wanted a custom package, Kailey and Eric sent B+B home with homework- to create modify a package to fit their wants. Everyone then met up again, to go over package, the contract again, and get the one road. Their business relationship was made over coffee, laughter, and bonding over the busy schedules! Over the months leading up to the wedding of Kailey and Eric, they met up with B+B to update them over changes in wedding planning, confirming the day plan of B+B and what all everyone was expecting. The big day came, and went faster than all the planning. All that was left, was the editing of the day of art, and revealing them to the lovely couple. Then it was art layouts and ordering, then delivery. The delivery including this blog! So with that...
Let the interview begin.
As standard, we here at B+B email our clients' questions separately so they do not see one another answers, until the blog.
B+B: How would each of you summarize your love story from each of your point of views?
K: I had just left a 4year toxic relationship and was enjoying getting to know myself and making new friends. Along comes Eric, who took me to lunch, which lasted 5 hours. He didn't want to see me go. Next thing I know, it's a year later and we're at the beach watching the most beautiful Texas sunrise, I knew then there just wasn't anyone else. No one could give me that same serenity. That peace, that also juxtaposes with a sense of excitement. It's all one big adventure with him, like seeing color for the first time.
E: We somehow managed to go to the same high school, be in the same graduating year, even have a lot of the same friends... Yet we never met. Often times I think about how much easier my life would be if I had the chance to meet her earlier on in my life, but then I remember that even all of the bad times are what made me the man I am and made me capable of loving her the way she deserves.
We met through a mutual friend's Facebook post, trading sass and sarcasm as if on opposite sides of a battlefield. Not maliciously, of course... But it spurned a feeling of curiosity in me that told me I needed to know this woman. Never did I expect this would be my future partner in life.
I remember seeing a movie with my parents after work and sitting in my car once we left the theater. I had made up my mind to add her on Facebook and get to know her a little better. Much to my chagrin I pulled out my phone and saw a notification that he had sent me a request not 5 minutes beforehand... I smiled, and took this as some sort of sign. I perused her profile a bit and sent her a message.
"So how about that queso and margaritas we discussed"?
On that Facebook post, after the smoke had settled from our war of wit, we started talking about favorite food, etc and she had said queso.
The date was set. It would be father's day, 2016, at a local Mexican restaurant that was one of our favorites. From the very beginning I knew this would be something... I didn't know what, but I knew this was the beginning of a story. I wasn't sure what to say... And while I struggled to find something to say, a voice broke my thoughts "so... How have you been?"
I was a little caught off guard, not by the fact we didn't know each other... But by the sincerity of the question. In that moment it felt like we had known each other since birth. So we talked.
We talked about high school, the friends we had and where they were now, we talked about our lives and the events that had led us to this day. We were seated after a short wait, and had food soon after being seated (we both knew what we wanted).
But all the while we talked. Eyes almost never breaking contact with each other. Soon the check came and I had already snuck my card out of my wallet under the table and softly dropped it onto the check before she could even object, and ever still we continued the conversation. See, she didn't know this was to be a date. We had discussed a Facebook page dedicated to writing pieces and poetry, and she thought we were going to plan that. Little did she know I had already started to have a deeper interest in her.
A couple hours passed with us still at the table talking away, like two old friends finally reunited. We decided we should give the restaurant back their table and moved our conversation outside. We still continued to talk about anything and everything next to our vehicles (which we had parked next to each other by chance). It was obvious that neither of us wanted this to end, so an offer for Starbucks was extended, and I gladly accepted. We got into her car and I was slightly confused when we drove past the Starbucks that was across the street to head for the one across town instead, but not dumb enough to actually speak up.
Eventually this time had to draw to a close, and we went our separate ways. The 5 hour "lunch" ended. I remember taking a shower that evening and being happy. I remember smiling and thinking about how I hadn't smiled like this as long as I could remember.
B+B Commentary: Okay, so they went to the same high school, had the same the friends, each went through their own tribulations, and then over friendly banter fell into interest of one another, then fell in love together? Their first date, five hour lunch, and then Starbucks? Is this a rom com? How can these two be so perfect for one another, and just never circled in the same rotation? Oh how Love is such a fickle at times. Oh, how we should research more, on to the next question!
B+B: What is the secret to keeping "Love/Spark" alive? Through stressful times?
K: To keep the spark alive requires selflessness. You gotta know their love languages and do that, especially on the days where the stress leads to tension. Eric's always saying "it's not the big things that'll tear you apart, it's the accumulation of all the small things that create the cracks that break the foundation." If he's stressed I usually put on calming music and will make him comfy and give lots of shoulder rubs. He's usually out like a light!
E: the secret to keeping the spark alive...
I'd have to say it's communication. You have to be able to always ask anything of your partner, say anything, just be honest. Because without that, nothing else works. Someone will always be not as happy as they could be. I'm a firm believer in speaking up so that a problem can be addressed and resolved, it's the most direct route to a happy life together, even if it isn't always the most beautiful route.
B+B Commentary: This question always leads to different perspectives of the difference between the two, even if we were to fill out this answer it will never be the same answer. Partly because different people have different ways of helping/healing; couples have different ways of mending and growing. Both of these answers show insight in how trouble should be handled, and how it is not judgement you give on a bad day or week, or month- but love. Speaking of that fickle, onto the next question.
B+B: What would you say are the "top 5" relationship rules? Any reasoning behind it?
K: My top 5 rules of a relationship:
1) The only secret you keep from each other is what gift your getting them.
2) Don't have back up beaus if it doesn't work out. If you expect your relationship to fail it will, so all or nothing. If I like a guy I stop talking to other guys and I expect the same from him once we decide to date.
3) Be nice. Don't call each other derogatory names when you're angry or even playfully, and if other people want to tease your spouse, defend your spouse instead of joining in. It literally is you two against the world.
4) Show gratitude. Did he pay for dinner? Say thank you. Did she wash your clothes? Say thank you. Appreciation is very important to keep the love strong.
5) Don't ever go to bed angry at each other. It's never worth jeopardizing your happiness, so work it out and then let it go, don't bring up old arguments later on.
E: Top rule has to be speak up. Even if you don't know what you want/need, just say that. Because then we can figure it out together...
#2 rule has to be never lie. All lies are equal in their nefarious intention. I maintain this mentality because if you start ranking evils you may be tempted by the ones you find the least nefarious.
#3 is date like you just met, always court the person you chose like you're still trying to win their heart
#3 celebrate. Everyday is cause for celebration of your love, you don't need an excuse to buy small presents or go on fun "adventures". If you do need a reason, create one, make it a regular thing if you both love it.
#4 never walk away. Even if you have an argument, never turn your back. Work it out, don't let each other "cool down" because just as most things do when they cool down and dry out, it's hard to remove the crust.
#5 is never hold a grudge. No matter what your partner does to you, it's never on purpose. You chose to be a team, you have to give the benefit of the doubt and work it out with them.
B+B Commentary: What about these rules do you find interesting? Or favorited? We are really liking Eric's second rule, and Kailey's third. We feel like these would eliminate the unhealthy mindset of double standards in relationships, and excusing actions that shouldn't be okay to begin with. If ever you find yourself stating "at least it is not as bad as _________ (another toxic, unhealthy, bad thing)" you need to take a step back, and look at your boundaries. As Kailey stated, you should defend, stand with your partner and not degrade them. Even jokingly. This flows effortlessly with Eric's reasonings with do not lie. It can start with white lies to yourself, assuming what you said, did not hurt your partner, and if they had a problem, they would tell you. You should always aim to give your spouse, your best effort in loving them. Your partner deserves respect, honesty, forgiveness and kindness- love. Your partner deserves unconditional love. No cap on how much love, no "earning" love, and no "subtracting" love based off choices and actions of everyday. If they are doing things that cause you to "lose" love, or claiming that you deserve to be loved less- re-evaluate your relationship, and seek outside counseling. Do not go to mutual friends, seek professional help. That way there is no side picking, and both of you have a safe space to speak. After that soapbox, onto the next question.
Taken by our second shooter: SZStudios
B+B: What do you each look forward to in this life, now joined together?
K: I'm looking forward to being a homemaker. My dream is to master my craft and make money as an artist while homesteading and teaching our kids. I love teaching and want to give our future children a great childhood.
E: I look forward to having someone to rely on and be on my team.
B+B Commentary: It is important for your relationship, to have a future. Meaning both of you have an individual future, and your relationship's future is similar amongst both of you. It is not ideal to have one partner wanting to stay in one location their whole life, while the other is looking up living some place else each week. Along the way, on the path of "OMG YES" and "I DO", have honest moments with your partner and figure out what each of you want from life. The goal in life, should never be only one partner compromising, or giving up their life for the other. Both of you should feel comfortable in the path that your relationship takes you, as well as knowing that your relationship is fluid enough to stand the test of time. Love and time go together: time often eludes love, tests love, and then rewards love. That being said, more research on love is required! Onto the next question!
B+B: What's something you love doing for one another?
K: I love bringing him coffee as a surprise when he's having an especially hard day at work. The way he lights up is always worth it.
E: To be honest, I love doing everything for her... Grabbing her some water, getting dinner for us, even giving her a foot massage after she takes an hour long walk. All I need is the smile on her face as payment
B+B Commentary: We love imagery, and both answers paint such wonderful mental images- they brought smiles to our faces, knowing how much love is here between the two of these wonderful people! Quick before the tissues are needed, next question!
B+B: Alright we know we are busy people, and so is practically everyone else, what's the go to date?
K: The go to date movie and then dinner! We like to discuss and analyze the films we see over food. We love Japanese food!
E: Wengs wok. Amazing little Chinese food restaurant that doesn't break the budget.
B+B Commentary: Amongst the busy, it is vital to make time for your partner. Even if it is a Chic-Fil-A date before grocery shopping, or a coffee date, or taco truck date after being out the whole day. The busy will swallow your relationship whole, if you are not careful. The routine of everyday, even if you do not feel like there is one- there is, and it will swallow your relationship and kill the spark. These small dates are vital to keeping the spark alive. Next tid bit!
B+B: Amongst the busy, what is something you will never take for granted?
K: I will never take his sharing of wealth with me for granted. I'll never forget the time he paid my car payment when we first met, as a way to show me what he's willing to do to help.
E: I will never take for granted the fact that I come home almost everyday to a clean home, with a bed made, and a candle she knows I like being burned. It's a home. But it's only a home because of her and the efforts she makes to help me relax after a hard days work.
B+B commentary: *Swooning*, we love the realness, the visuals these answers are giving. We love the realness, the moments paused, the moments grateful for each thing that makes them real people, in love with real life moments, that are relatable to all. We know here at B+B we tell one another all the time, "my home is where my heart is, and my heart is you." So these moments hit home for us, from the willingness to tag team the finances early on, the homey things one another does for each other, all the loveeeeeee. We need more, so here is another question!
B+B: As Harry Potter focuses on important memories, what is an all time favorite moment with one another?
K: My favorite moment was right after he proposed and we called his MawMaw who was waiting to hear how it went and she was laughing and so happy for us. In that moment we were all smiling and just sharing in pure giddiness. I felt like a child at Disney world!
E: I'd have to say my favorite moment would be her first birthday since we started dating. She had talked to me in the last about the mediocre birthdays in her previous relationships so I knew the bar for me had been set low, but I aimed for the stars. We had a fun time going down to Houston and eating at her favorite restaurant and going to a tea bar, but the best part was what came next. I took her to incredible pizza.Because no matter how old you get, you have to feed your inner child. We had so much fun playing games, bowling, and playing mini golf... We even tied scores in mini golf! I'll never forget that.
B+B commentary: Look at all the love that exists between these two, look how they are like any other couple, real, not perfect, and always looking to feed the inner child, that idealized romance young. You know when you are a kid, and you see your parents or aunt and uncle, or grandparents, and begin wishing that one day you will have that? Right before cooties became a thing? It is important that you never stop believing in that kind of love that you want, the kind of love that you deserve. Never settle, and start the journey by setting the standard of how you should be loved, by loving yourself accordingly first. That is our sound off/advice on this topic. Onto the next question!
B+B: Any advice to engaged couples and couples who think they are ready to be engaged and or married?
K: Finish your schooling and be financially independent from your parents for a year before you decide you are ready for marriage. If they're the right one, they'll still be the right one late on when you can afford it. It being the house and bills, not just the wedding!
E: Take your time, there's no rush. Marriage is a title that envelopes the already existent relationship. If you build a house on a poor foundation, the house will fall.
B+B commentary: It is weird to see two people answer so similar, when they did not share their answers! Wait, build, wait. Grow. Your foundation needs to be stronger than just obligation, or title seeking. That title will not help, the happily ever after is merely an ending to a sentence- it wears off in real life. You need to be ready to brave the seas of life- no one gets married planning for the worse. No one goes into marriage with the mindset that someone will lose a job, or someone gets sick...most go into marriage knowing at times things can get tough, but no one knows how tough. So your foundation needs to be ready to withstand, and stand tall. So why not some more advice?
B+B: What has been the best marriage advice given to you?
K: "When you marry someone, you aren't just marrying them, you are marrying into the family." If I were to have married my ex, I'd be miserable because his mom and uncle were very toxic people, that's part of why I had to break it off. With Eric's family, they're all good people who will give you the shirt off their back. I had never known love until I met his parents, his grandmother and aunts. They're seriously so kind and generous. They make me believe in unconditional love.
E: The little things are what will destroy the relationship, the big things will only bring you closer together. So focus on the small things
B+B commentary: We enjoy feedback like this for our own life, plus it is too good to keep to ourselves, hence all our blog interviews. Often insights help with navigating your own boat in your own seas of life. It is important to know your partner to be's family well, and it is important to note how the day to day life can swallow your relationship. As you have read the advice previously mentioned, find someone kind. This is important as life is hard enough, and kindness is looked at like a small daily act/thing, that many take for granted, but it really does make life easier and add to your foundation. Think about it, ever have a tough day, then someone pays for your coffee? Doesn't it make the coffee taste sweeter? Does it not brighten your day? Thing is your spouse is the stranger buying the coffee, the coffee is your relationship, and you are the bloke having a rough day. Do you see how if it happened daily, some might say you will expect it/take it for granted? Here is a tip from a busy couple who works more than they hangout together- some days you do take it for granted, somedays when you are being a biscuit you do expect it, just as long as somedays do not turn into everyday, you are good. Do you expect your spouse to cook every night? Or do you appreciate the fact that after their long day, they are willing to spoil you with home made food? It is all in the little things and mindset of them. Unconditional love is a mindset shift. Love should not be based on what you wear, or how you talk, or what you can do for the other. Love should be based on how you feel about one another, how you notice the little things that each one does when they are busying away at life. How they flick their hair out of their face, how they sip instead of gulp down coffee, etc. Love should not be a standard on how it is given, love should be given. Life is too short for love not to be given. Enough advice from us, and commentary, let's gather more from K And E.
B+B: QUICK, a friend's marriage is going through turmoil, what is the advice that you are going to give them?
K: Verbal abuse can become physical at any point. And if he or she physically harms you, even once, you need to leave. The way you prevent the cycle of domestic abuse from continuing is by knowing the signs. Speaking as a child who grew up in an abusive household, I want to stress this importance to people that never had to go through it, because you find yourself trapped mentally and physically if you don't know the ways abusers can isolate and manipulate you.
E: I can't stress communication enough, but it's the most important thing to keeping both people happy in a relationship.
B+B commentary: So we really agree with both of these comments, one on the communicating and informing your partner when they are acting abusive (on the off chance that their "normal" taught them this type of behavior was okay) and then communicating healthy boundaries, and guidelines for the relationship is a necessity. It is your lifeline. On the topic of abuse- no matter the type of abuse, it is abuse. If the abuse does not end, or geared around certain behavior, people, places, or basically anything that the abuser is using as a reasoning why the abuse is happening, but not actually apologize, or stopping abusive behavior, or take your feelings seriously- LEAVE. Every abuser will have you thinking that there is no one out there like them, that it is always your fault, and that your friends are bad. Their goal in life is to control you, groom you to where the abusive behavior is your "normal" and you "deserve it". That is not love. Love does not hurt you in the name of loving you. Love is unconditional. Unconditional love does not hurt, does not judge and does not change you. Your spouse should push you to be the best you, not the best version of you they want, or they can "love better". Communication is key, and communicating boundaries and healthiness is a big part of the key to a healthy relationship, partner ship, marriage.
Time to twirl away this real talk yet negativity, and onto some more positive emotions, thank u, next... question!
B+B: What's your next step in life, as a married couple? (Besides the house, congrats by the way! Traveling? Saving for retirement?)
K: Next step is having baby number one! That'll be at least 3 years away though.
E:Traveling definitely. When we first met, I had a trip to Japan already planned and paid for... I wished I could have taken her with me but it wasn't possible, so I've promised to take her with me for the next trip, and I've been planning that out.
B+B commentary: As a couple who loves traveling and travel blogs waiting to be published... we can not say that we disagree on these priorities. Traveling with your partner, even if it is a town over, or five towns, it is such a rush of excitement. "What are we going to leave this place with?" Before we start spouting traveling advice, next question.
B+B: Do you see any pets in your near future, if so cat or dog?
K:We have our kitty Ashe, she's a little like me...she doesn't always play well with others lol so we probably won't get another pet while we still have her. But I'm slowly planting the seeds of thought for a puppy! I miss dogs. I'm surrounded by cats right now!
E: We have a cat and she's a good cat, little hyper at types and can test the nerves but I wouldn't trade her for the world...When she eventually does leave us, I wouldn't mind a dog.
B+B commentary: Okay we love our furry B's, and do not discriminate against fur children, their role in life is to bring companionship, joy, and memories. We love seeing everyone with their own furry companion, who they can love on days where life is a little tougher than usual! We also find parenting a fur child shows how parenting actual children would go! We advise in all couples if they can, to adopt a fur child from a shelter! We do not think anyone would regret a little extra unconditional love in their life!
B+B: Unconditional love means your partner doing things that might be odd, but you love them. So any cute habits your spouse does that always makes you smile?
K: He mimics me A LOT. It's super cute. I'll talk in this silly voice and a couple days later he'll say the same nonsense I was saying in the same voice. It's cuter when he does it. Something about an otherwise stoic man running up to me and saying "doot doot!" and then running away that just melts my heart.
E:She likes to "mow the lawn" and cutely munch at my hair while I'm laying down, which is just really cute and weirdly relaxing
B+B commentary: Okay, this is too cute, we got nothing. Other than our own "a little doot doot". Next question because these answers were cuter than a kitten yawning.
B+B: Alright, we should warn you, grab tissues, because when was the first moment you knew your spouse was the one?
K: Day two of knowing him, I laid on his lap and when I sat up he kissed my forehead. I knew he was the one because a forehead kiss is sweet and protective, he didn't try to make anything happen, unlike other guys I'd known that always tried to force romance to happen.
E: It's really hard to tell, because it was more of a process of trying to convince myself that I was crazy/stupid for loving someone after only a few days, because moving too fast got me into my last 2 bad relationships... So to call it "love at first sight" would feel too cheesy... But it was definitely "love at first day". Close enough, right?
B+B commentary: It is obvious that these two fit together like to puzzle pieces, clicking the way they did, and still do. Be still our hearts, this love story is causing the swooning slump. You know when you are into a good book, and the writer is just speaking to you, and you swoon, slump, swoon, and are whisked away to another time/land? These answers are causing this phenomenon. Quick back to Earth, we must finish this blog!
B+B: Okay so we can tell family is a big deal to both of you, so how did your family react to the fact, that you were getting married?
K:When I told my mom we were engaged she hugged me and looked at us both and said "well it's about time!" Apparently Eric asked her for my hand, so she knew and was waiting to hear how it went.
E: They seemed happy, both my friends and family would say how they had never seen me smile much or at all before Kailey and I started dating
B+B commentary: Happy Family, happy life. You marry the family, so this makes us happy! No wonder their day was filled with such happiness! Ah, sadly only a few more questions!
B+B: If you could go back in time would you elope or keep the wedding you had?
K: All in all I love how our wedding went down. I think eloping is more...'me'. but I have this weird thing where when it's time to get dolled up I'm like 'okay! Show time' I wanted the friends, the music, the traditional ceremony....it all felt right in the end, even if planning was stressful. Totally worth it to see my vision come to life in the decor.
E: Oh that's a hard question... Eloping to save the money would be great, but I did enjoy the wedding so I'm not sure I could actually choose.
B+B commentary: We always ask this question to each couple, seeing how each couple is different before, during, and after their wedding of choice! We also feel eloping still has this negative cogitation attached to it, and we are hoping one elopement at a time, this will change.
B+B: Star Wars or Harry Potter?Sith/Jedi, or which house are you?
K:I'll be honest and say I haven't seen all the Star Wars films, and the only reason I've seen Harry Potter is because Eric is a HUGE Potterhead. So Harry Potter! According to Pottermore .... I'm a Slytherin!:)
E: Why do I have to choose? I'm a Gray Jedi from house Slytherin. Is that a problem?
B+B commentary: Being a Gryffindoor and Ravenclaw, and gray jedi, we always have to ask this question, because our clients typically have read or watched these wonderful films. Last Question!
B+B: Any other questions we should add to ask future couples?
K: Nahhh 'to be continued' lol
E: What's your favorite proverb related to marriage?
And like that, this interview is done, their story told, their advice given, our feedback added.
Their day can now be relived through their wall art in their home, their photo albums that they can pass down for generations, and their video can be witnessed along with this blog- if the internet lasts! We love getting to know couples, and investing our time into their special days, and showing that behind the Baroque inspired images of memories ARE REAL people IN REAL LOVE, and it is so stunning. Being real and being in love, might never have an acute definition of what it is, BUT it does have many definitions of what it is not. Both of love and being real, both have things that can be added to the ever growing list of what it each are: messy, filled with flaws, and extraordinarily incomparable.
