Disclaimer, writing about yourself and relationship for the world to read (well as many people who read the blog) is really hard to do. Even when sleepy mind clouds judgement.

Mrs. B shooting on the go!

Now for a lot of new couples and a lot of young couples- the flashier the gifts, the more blinding they are... which is exactly what I set forth to avoid, when him and I started talking more and more. See I was used to guys flirting behind a screen, inserting false promises and really super sleazy guy lines, or wanting to flash their money in front of me, I literally would be bored and disappointed. So whenever Ben first started messaging me, and I thought I detected the hint of mischief, I shut it down. Hard. It started because we were watching a show together, states away and talking about said show afterwards. When it came to goodnight, talk next week sorta sum up, there was a rose emoji attached (🌹).

I wasn’t having it. I let him know I didn’t appreciate his games, nor him just sliding in over a show. ..... yeah. I was extra defensive, and stupid looking back, but obviously that didn’t scare him off. {and it was worded way worse than this sum up.}

Months went by, we got close, and I said “I miss your flowers. Well roses.” He said “oh yeah, can I send them without you thinking I’m a f-boy? Or am I going to get a hot message come morning? lol.” Spoiler alert: he didn’t get a sassy mad message in the morning and it became our thing to do in our long distance. I’m not a spender so I didn’t want roses sent to me weekly, ( I could buy my own) but the rose emoji, man, that got me smiling more than actual roses.

Team Member Jorden, captured our sweet elopement moments.


Then when he sent actual roses, still respecting my wish, only half a bouquet, it meant more to me than anything reading a card with our rose joke, in the card....because he had them sent, to be there the day after returning from visiting him.

To this day, whenever I have to leave for travel, or he arranges for a trip for me to get away from editing and running sites, I still get my "roses" goodnight message.

Why is all of this important? Read on.

Mrs. B capturing the furry little B's.

See as movies wrongly portray romance, I feel like it’s time to be real. Yes, romantic life can have  the cliche moments, but it shouldn’t always be a cliche. Life isn’t a movie and you shouldn’t be focus on making it look like one. Or worse, copying one. <that’s a whole blog post alone,  attempting to keep this short>
If your S.O. Can’t do simple things to make you smile... they are not the one.

Effort and action, and also you knowing what you want. Meaning don’t go around copying movies or worse, your friend’s life in hopes of finding happiness. Look inside, and if having an S.O. pick up random rocks they find makes you happy, say it. And say it proud. Do not sit there and let someone fall in love with an image that’s not you. Do not project yourself differently just to keep that person either. Me it’s rose texts, not actual roses. {even though when they are on sale for the price of my tea, you best believe I’m bouncing around the apartment like a crazy wife ... every time I see them or smell them. No shame.}

Here’s the thing, Ben loves a made bed and my organized style as well as hearing I love him. I know by making the bed, even slightly, he will be so happy. If I put away dishes, he will be so happy. If I tell him randomly I love him, man, I’m making his day. And if there is a free tea or if I drop off tea at work for him, all I’m going to hear that night is how he was busy that day and the tea made him smile. He didn’t care if it came from home, because we used our budget for Starbucks that week; he doesn’t care if I let some dishes air dry some more, or that I messaged him during a busy day, or that I didn’t make the bed fully. He loves the fact I thought of him and spoke his love language through doing things he counts as Love.<by the way, blog of that will come, BECAUSE LOVE LANGUAGES MATTER>

Notice how none of these things are Grand? Or a grand to do? Notice how it is all the simple small things? That’s what makes a relationship. The grander the gesture, the thicker the fog (grams logic) and it makes sense. Instead of being blinded by price tag, be blinded by the lack of effort. Anyone can call a florist and ask for a 200$ flower bundle and put “thinking of you.” on the card. Sure it’ll impress you and your friends, and will have a small high of “OMG.” But think how nicer it would have been to see your man, and him to do something that touches your heart, not blinding your eyes.
Time, patience, and the little things are what make a relationship strong and work. If this is how you believe yours should be, maybe you need to take a look at what love you really want.

Mrs. B captured little furry B, during her afternoon nap while Mrs. B edited.

Fairytales have done a wonderful job of providing hope for young men and woman, but terrible at setting realistic standards. The thing is Cinderella did not want to be saved by the Prince, she just wanted a night off. 
Here is the thing, so many people get together with their "Prince" and get "married" because that is what they are "supposed to do." Here is honest Becca to the rescue, STOP. DO NOT PASS GO. DO NOT GET MARRIED. 

Disclaimer, I am happily married, but just because I am, doesn't mean everyone will be.
Back to explaining: I have seen friends be engaged at 17, single by 18, engaged again, then single, then engaged and married. Sometimes people rush in thinking they know what they want. I thought I knew for the longest time, but I am happy to say I was wrong. Not saying you can not find young love, I am saying that it is hard to find and not as easy as the rom-com and fairytales make it out to be. Love is so much more than posting up selfies, and cute ring shots. Love is so much more than avoiding the issues, just to keep "happy".

Love. Is. A. Glorious. MESS.
The hottest of messes, the most beautiful artistic messes. Messes destined for the two of you, where you accept, forgive and grow from each moment. Every bad news, bad day, bad thought, you will have to have honesty as well as forgiveness. Just changing your facebook relationship, from single to taken, from taken to engaged, and engaged to married, will not lead to perfect happy marriage or keep it. A relationship is so much more than a media post, or legality title, and it is so much more than a routine, and even a big fairytale wedding will not make for a perfect marriage. <Also you marry who you are with, not the hope for what they will be in future, another blog post? Maybe.>

Team Member Jorden captured our sweet moments.

You might need to learn your partner more, and you might need to learn that you can never stop learning new things about your partner. Your relationship, be it unlabeled, labeled, or legally labeled, should be your favorite passion, job and role. It should be soul enlightening, soul fire, and illuminating feeling for your life. Even in routines of life, that feeling should be there. I was told the love of your life, will bring the ultimate change in comfort level. Where as you will be fine before them, after you meet them, your soul threads join, and you really can not stay comfortable where you are at. The universe will also push you together, and make your threads intertwine, and make both of you just learn to work together. 
Love should not be lazy, one sided, selfish, or negative in anyway. You are meant to be partners, and taking turns, pulling one another through tough days. We are in no way perfect but we are growing with one another daily. There are plenty of days where one of us throw a fit over life, and then the next day the other one does. There is plenty of angry tea sipped, and miscommunications before good communications. 
Our relationship was never about posting the status change, or being a post. Our relationship was built on learning one another, trusting the other, harsh but needed honesty, accountability, communication, problem solving, forgiveness, and of course compromise. These are all the "secrets" of our relationship, these are also the Lego's of any relationship. Remember one day there might not be a social media platform to post to,  so make your relationship foundation be more than a post.
We try not to post a whole bunch of posts of our relationship(typical happy selfies but that's about it) so this blog and our intro one, was difficult to write. But we made it.  Probably won't happen again, and this might go to the delete file soon too.
Once you get into the habit of not making the posts, or putting your business out there, it is  so hard to do so again. How do the other bloggers do it? It is easier to just do advice list, but even then, blogging is way more difficult than we assumed. Till next Late Night Ramble.

Mr. B enjoying the festive lights, and the furry b's.  As you can see they were not impressed with being photographed.

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