"Fall a Little Easier"
First and foremost, we want to explain the drought of blogs. We had several prompts, the typical small business ones, none of which were passion filled. Felt as if we were push selling- they were flat. We could have written them, but then again, there is a reason why they sit unpublished and unfinished. If it is flat, and passionate-less, it’s garbage. So every week, there has been attempts to write. Every week, there is review. Then there is hate. Then we edit photos and relax.
Now, you won’t see this till the deed is done, but we can start it, 1:16 A.M. March 7th 2018.
I, Becca, sit here, beside a sleeping snoring Ben, listening to our mutts join his musical sleepy. Typically I would be surfing social media, but tonight this blog ran through my mind as yet again, I can not seem to fall asleep before 3 A.M. Really important to note, blue light from your devices can indeed affect your sleeping habits, try to limit your time in front of them, as I hypocritically warn you. Sliding back to the blog, lines and quotes filled my mind, so here I am typing away.
I want to open with an admittance: when I was younger, I wanted an outspoken, adventure-loving, gumption-filled, honest man; someone who could handle my attitude, go to toe against me and for me, someone who I didn’t have to worry about just wanting to please me, or appease me- though I did just want him to love me and only me, I didn’t want him to love me blind or easy. I am now going to sip some tea, towards myself.
I have found that man, married that man, and often wonder why I was not like every other woman who wanted a submissive guy, or a guy who would just mind. Then Ben does something, and I realize why. In wanting a real human being, and not simply a dog in a man’s body, I was choosing to not want comfortable/easy living. Many people choose tattoos to signify this choice, I chose a human... with a working mouth and mind. After each time he proves me wrong, I remain grateful and thankful for him- even though he went against every “comfort box” idea I had.
Now that I’ve hinted at where this blog is going, let’s get juicy with catching you all up.
February 17th 2018, I got some troubling news. A lot of it. Us being in our own version of Olympia, I was urged to to just call more, visit when we could and stay happy and tucked away. “Call more and find a way to visit. Live and love more. Wish you were here but we get it.” To be perfectly honest, their words fed into the comfortable lifestyle we had set up, and so I had 0 problem writing down “call ________ Tuesday at 1” and “plan vacation, wish we could see you, but do what you can afford” in our planner. It was easy. It fit into our living style. It made sense. It was logical. It was practical. It was safe.
But here is the thing, when you marry an opinionated, vocal, independent, adventure-loving, and habit-hating, person.... they don’t do “easy.” I mean, I married a guy who thinks hiking 14’ners is fun to do -in a day. The more challenging something is the better for Ben; I like to solve and simplify, “fix” life (at this point and time, we are all going to sip tea collectively together). So you can imagine, listening to me rattle off the news like it was the weather for the next day, sat with Ben. Spoiler: it didn’t. Immediately, he jumped to moving instead of vacationing. I shot it down. Why?
Logically, it did not make sense.
Money-wise, it did not make sense.
Comfort Box Wise, it did not match our comfy life.
Numbers didn’t match up, life didn’t match up, NOTHING MATCHED. Worse than plaid and plaid.
This kept Ben at bay, for literally 22 hours. Where he called upon help from friends. See, our friends are really our Hogwarts.
“Help will always be given at Hogwarts”. Between Ben and Friends, there is no excuse making, there is no comfortable boxes, there is only living and doing. There is nothing that you can not do. So you can see how this Ravenclaw, was outnumbered and fast. Where I argued logically, and safety- they argued urgently and selflessly. Where I poked holes, they called it Swiss cheese, and said “Swiss cheese is one of the most sought after cheeses.” Where I stood my ground, and debated logic, they negated with passion.
Within 22 hours, Ben had a job lined up. We just needed housing. Where upon I hid behind “no one will rent to us because of pit mix”, they said “trust us to find a place.”
This went on for a week.
Suddenly our friends started finding places who didn’t care about Pit’s and mixes, we just needed a deposit. Suddenly Ben was gaining speed; I, Becca dug my heels in the ground, and therefore was dragged along.
I argued money- was told Ben could work two jobs, people wouldn’t mind paying for our services.
I argued time to sell and move, Ben started selling items.
I argued “what if”, Ben argued solutions.
I argued safe, Ben argued Faith.
Then I made the mistake of noticing how people who lived “safe” never did anything with their lives, but complain about others. Ben then said “why do you think I want us to move? You need to be down there, and we aren’t living now. Sure we can go hike a mountain, but at the end of the day, we hike safely, we come home and watch a show, and sleep because we know what we are doing tomorrow.” I replied, “I feel like we are going to fail a lot when we move.” “Then you can fix the failures with what we learn, you are good at that. But right now, you need to trust me. You need to be near, and we need to live more.”
Within two weeks, I was packing what we weren’t selling. We were tying up loose ends, and figuring out what to ship, what to do. I was lying to my family saying we were selling our airplane tickets because I bought the wrong ones (which they probably didn’t believe me, but it was worth a try). I was having days where one foot was on the train, and one foot was on the ground. We argued over logic, which Ben just kept saying “trust us. We don’t let you down. So sorry, not sorry, this is happening. We are moving. We are starting our next chapter. You will need our friends when more bad news comes.”
Then I was packing again, less grumbling.
Now I would like to point out, there are a few friends who I reached out to with hypothetical “do you know any where we could move with the dogs?”, and nearly every single person, had an idea, or began getting excited. Even though I lied and said in two years.
“Help will always be given at Hogwarts.”
This just kept playing in my head. It still does. Literally I was weeping one day because the love and support, and I felt guilty for even fighting it because I was selfishly only focusing on Ben and I. Where I saw “safe” living, Ben saw the love our family and friends needed more. Where I was selfishly listening to reason- he was listening to faith.
Mind you we aren’t church goers, but we do firmly believe in Faith, God and our Life paths. Yet, here I was being a hypocrite and my husband was not only just holding me accountable, but living what we promise and preach. Looking back, this makes me smile. This is why he took my heart, and watered it with Life. This is why our paths crossed. This is why his adventure loving self wins, the bigger Life battles while I win small daily battles- his faith, his steadfastness, his strength when tested. The weakness I have struggled with because of my logic loving self, my whole life. Where I have weakness, he has strength. Where I am blinded by logic, he can see through faith. What a Gryfyndor (eye rolls and smiles).
Here we are.
Figuring out what to sell, packing, figuring out when we are moving exactly, and how.
Talking to friends daily, who know.
Waiting for shoes to drop.
Listening to him rattle off reasons why daily.
Making memories, before we leave.
This blog is long, and filled with a lot of vulnerability, a lot of honesty, and way more than I would prefer to share.
Anyhow, now that you have read the happy inspirational side, let’s get real.
Most rentals won’t talk to you if you say you are moving from out of state.
Most places don’t allow dogs.
Most places won’t even get back to you.
The ones who do, are typically outside of your means.
Most places do not rent to Pit Mixes, if they allow dogs.
From February through the end of March, it was a roller coaster, due to the ups and downs of trying to find a rental.
So many. Ups. So. Many. More. Downs.
And a lot of becca “bubble popping.”
And a lot of ben reminding, “LIVE. Everything will be okay.”
A lot of tiffs and a lot of tea.
A lot of stress.
A lot of emotion.
Finally Ben one night, was done. I don’t blame him, I was done too. Believe it was around March 12th or 13th, that we were each done, but done for different reasons we were. I was done with it not being “easy” and “comfortable” and “safe”. Ben was done with my stress fits, so he popped off mid tiff, “You know what, we could always camp it till we find a place.”
*would just like to point out, that there is nothing wrong with camping, but I would prefer it as an option or fun getaway, not the only way*
“CAMPING?!” I screeched back, looking at my husband like he was crazy.
“Yeah, they don’t care about dogs, there is a lake. It’s cheaper than a hotel who allows dogs.”
“We have camped before, you, didn’t hate it. This time it won’t be on top of a mountain where you are afraid of rolling off the cliff.”
“You want to make us..... hobos.”
“No, not hobos, campers.”
“Campers have a place to go home to. Hobos do not.”
“So? It’ll be an adventure, no comfort.”
“BUT BUT BUT. I like comforts, I like roof over my head and I like ac, and I like a kitchen. I like a bath tub.”
“And you’ll get all of that, once we find a place. Just trust me.”
“You are insane.”
“But you love me, so trust me.”
“I do. I will.”
I then spent that night thinking of all things comfortable that I loved, going away. That we wouldn’t have a “home” anymore. I was tempted to tell my family we were moving, but then I remembered that would be selfish and that we are adults. I remembered snuggling into Ben and praying that God made him right, instead of praying for things to show him no- that this wasn’t a big flop waiting to happen. Don’t worry, I was still clinging to my comfort box, telling Ben we didn’t have to move. We could put it off- especially after we got brief news that was good for once. I remember telling him “we don’t have to, look we have more time.” I will admit, I was not being the person my grandparents would be proud of, I was clinging to my selfish ways, but here is my spouse- being every type of person they could have wanted, “look, we don’t have that time, you do not have time. They do not have time. You need to be there, we need to be there for them. You and I need these memories. They need these memories. You need to understand that this is what is best. Just because we got some good news, does not mean next time it will be good news. Just think, it’s just us going camping.” And he was right, no sooner did the good news fade, bad came.
This camping idea, actually ended up being peaceful by the end of March. It was a line that was used often, from joking to comforting, “camping, it’s just a camping trip.” I still had worry fits. We still had stressful moments with every place that we could not get, but “oh well, looks like we are camping it”, became the slogan around our house.
Anyhow, April comes, and we found a place, believe April 7th. We were leaving the 26th.
Finally we could say we were moving, and not camping.
Then came the finishing up, then came the last “see you later” to beloved friends. Then came one last adventure in Colorado, before leaving.
On the way out of town, we stopped at The Great Sand Dunes, took some video, took some photos, gave the dogs a good walk, and let them enjoy their sandy memory. Totally worth arriving at our new home later than planned, (3:41 A.M.).
In our first month back, it felt like vacation for like a week.
Then it became hectic.
There was news.
There were lots and lots of photos.
There were unexpected memories made.
There were planned travels to meet up with friends in Nola.
Then we planned travels with friends.
Then we made adventures amongst our crazy life.
This blog kind of procrastinated, kind of forgotten.
But the lesson learned: "Live more"- echos everyday.
Our amount of TV time, is almost non-existent. We are contemplating just turning off all streaming services, and reading instead of watching shows. We are contemplating making Sunday’s for family or for adventure.
Gone are the days of the clear schedule, gone are the days of set ideas. The planner is used for memory book, and just keeping track of photo shoots and weddings.
Gone are the days of the same thing different day.
Gone are they days of wishing to be with loved ones.
Here are the days of visiting almost every other week.
Here are the days of travel and memories.
Here are the days of spontaneous schedules.
Here are the days of what Ben was telling me that we needed.
Here is where we are, the present, it is a gift that we were only scheduling to play with before, unlike now. We take each day as the gift it is, remembering it is a gift that can be taken away anytime.
Your health can turn for the worse in an instant.
You can have a loved one lost in a second.
You can spend all the time you thought you had, only wishing for the life you wanted.
This blog was hard to write, because you see all the fluffy “I just quit my job and became a traveler and its the best decision.” And you do not see a lot of people choosing family, you hear a lot of “sacrificing for the family” and “being pulled in two different places”.
No way are we saying this was easy, or that we regret it, but in a world of fluff and boxes… we are trying to be the real ones.
In a world of being labeled, and boxes, we are trying to break boxes, and not do fluff. Fluff fills boxes, we do not want to be inside of a box.
So live the life that scares you.
Live the way you would if you were dying.
Live the way most people are afraid to.
So what would you do if the world was slowly melting around you?